Notes from a
photographer: Cynthia Zordich
IIn the last 6 years I have been aware of an energy that takes place in women. An energy that I have most recently named Full Blown. I did not find the term in a book. I did not Google® it. Nobody told me about it. I just knew it was right!
First, I experienced it and then I watched and counted as I saw others go through it. My friend Renee says, "In a reoccurring daydream, I'm in a crowded room with hundreds of women. I'm lifted above them and I'm looking for another head up in the crowd. Does anyone feel like me…anyone???? " THAT is Full Blown. By chance Renee and I actually went through this together. For this period of our lives we were physically and spiritually connected. It was necessary for our survival.
Full Blown by the dictionary definition is having or displaying all the characteristics necessary for completeness. We have discovered that at the height of reaching that completeness there is a point in a women's life when the girl inside muscles her way back into the life of the women in order to awaken the spirit and soul. It is a final burst of indescribable energy.
Her self-defined purpose depends greatly on the life of the woman and the choices she has made thus far. For the woman who has deserted her adolescent dreams-- it is a reminder. For the woman who has been stifled all her life by forces she could not realize or control -- it is a burst of confidence to make positive changes.
Full Blown can spin you 360 degrees or it can take you in another direction. It is a final, beautiful, and very intentional phenomenon. Yet be warned. It creates change-- which ultimately creates friction. The girl takes over and the woman is left to do all of the explaining.
In our experiences, my life was simply a whirlwind of welcomed chaos and Renee's was quite simply chaotic. But, becoming Full Blown, Renee awoke to realize she was living a half life. She found the strength to reintroduce herself to the world and her world is a far, better place.
You can't put your finger on the symptoms of being Full Blown. They are as varied as the women they invade. But, what is soothing is finding that other women are either going through it with you or have already taken the journey. It is essential to know that you are not alone, not crazy, not ridiculous.
Fullblown.org will give you the freedom to unwind, unload and celebrate this experience. It will welcome you to a world where you are not judged but understood.
| I am Cynthia Zordich • Native of Pittsburgh, Pa. • Age 41 • Married to Michael Zordich • Children: Michael Vincent 15, Alex 13, Aidan 11 • BA Penn State University • Telecommunications • Photographer • Owner of Behind the Cage, Inc • Book: When the Clock Runs Out, Triumph Publishing. |
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I have heard it said, "To everything there is a beginning and an end." I began a wonderful journey by discovering the feeling, a transformation, of the true existence of my internal self. I began to question everything that was and that which was suppose to be. I no longer accepted the status quo. I needed more and I needed experience…FAST! It all started several years ago…5 to be exact. If I were to say everything changed in my life overnight…it would be an understatement…it changed faster than that. The reality was nothing had really changed …except ME! Because I chose to change. I grew up in the same town where I'm raising my family…the walls of the area as well as my life was closing in on me! I was JUST into my second marriage with a great guy but one that had no idea where I was coming from. My antsy behavior made him nervous and insecure and rightfully so. I was not where I needed to be in my life or his. My children sensed that and were wonderful and insightful. My increased energy and outgoing fun attitude intrigued them and they loved the new version of me. Because of what I had discovered, my marriage fell into in jeopardy. I was fine with that. I pushed for a separation and he agreed. We never finalized the divorce. Something nagged at the back of my mind that it might not be the time to make anything FINAL. So I lived and I mean LIVED! Like I dreamed about. It was difficult to put into words and was better expressed by what I was feeling and the outward expressions that others saw as a result of the decision I made to become Full Blown. Most recently as part of this beautiful transformation, I have felt a calm that has been the most significant benefit of this change in my life. I have found the need to nestle in and cuddle. I'm drawing closer to the people that really matter in life and I have stopped pretending with those that don't. I can see the truth and act upon it rather than dance around it. I truly believe a journey never ends but the pace at which we travel hurries and slows. At times I am so sorrowful for this life-changing journey seems to be slowing down it saddens me, and at others I am so happy I was able to do what I absolutely needed to do for myself and those around me. I have freed my mind of all preconceived notions and I enjoy life as if I were experiencing everything for the very first time. I approached decisions and my family with an insight that was different and yet responsible. I love my life! |
| My name is Renee • I have 3 teenagers: Nicky 16, Bryanne 15, Jillian 13 • I am President and owner of a therapy management company employing over 200 therapists. |
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